How To Make A Vacation Last A Lifetime

Every time I come home from a vacation I vow to make it my last.

I don’t like to fly.  If there’s only one baby on the plane it will be right behind me.  It will cry.  Across the aisle will be a guy watching a Ben Stiller movie marathon without headphones.

I never know what to pack.  I know I’ll only wear half of what I take along, but I don’t know which half.

I sleep best in my own bed with my own pillow.  Hotel rooms, no matter how clean or nice, have neighbors who slam doors, come in too late after too many drinks, or travel with their kids who like to bounce off the shared wall between the rooms.

I miss my pets.  I suppress the desire to call the petsitter three times a day.

And at the end of the trip is more flying.

So I promise that my most recent vacation has had enough thrills and spills to last a lifetime.

Now if I could only get my husband to agree.


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